ON AFFABILITY

“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”

Brené Brown

It all started when news report, worldwide, starting mentioning the words ‘social distancing’.

However substantially, first and foremost with the rise of social networks this past decade, new technologies seemed to have reinforced our social bonds, the following emerging phrase appears to have crushed it significantly as well: social distancing.

Social distance: to be away from society ; or in other words: to be secluded.

In the first place, governments all over the world started implementing regulations forbidding any social gathering, with close to complete lockdowns, which largely lasted for about a month. Afterward, the new measures of setting a certain reduced capacity in all public spaces appeared. As one leader was enacting such new rules, another elsewhere seemed to follow. New lifestyles had to be taught and learned, dismantling the system of each social activity in order to reinvent it.

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SOCIAL : late Middle English: from Old French, or from Latin socialis ‘allied’, from socius ‘friend’.

PHYSICAL : late Middle English (in the sense ‘relating to medicine’): from medieval Latin physicalis, from Latin physica ‘things relating to nature’ (see physic). Sense 2 dates from the late 16th century and sense 1 from the late 18th century.

The adjectives ‘social’ and ‘physical’ are therefore not synonyms. From its etymology, we can denote that to be social means to be everyone’s friend. It signifies being courteous, expressing common civilities, greeting people, and using closing formulas when leaving a place. Furthermore, it is important to emphasize the fact that being a social being (i.e. the definition of ‘human being’) does not necessarily mean being a social butterfly.

And yet, lately, staying away from other people has broken all social bonds between people, regardless of how intrinsic it is to human nature. A friendly handshake has left, only to leave the place to fear. Fear of the other, fear of the unknown, fear of other people, fear of society, fear of closeness, and intimacy. The already existing climate of fear between individuals ruled by differences (whether that be racism, homophobia, or any other prejudice) has been cultivated by the fear-led speeches of administrations throughout the world.

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”

Louise Erdrich

The world has forgotten about human connection; the core value of everyone’s life. To share ideas, values, experiences and connect on a deeper level with one another, no matter the gaps between social, ethnic, professional or cultural background.

Life is a journey to be shared, otherwise, it is one that shall remain purposeless. Trying to reinforce our social bonds through social media and constant online messaging services may resemble a productive attempt, and yet may as well result in a failed endeavor. In recent years, leaders in new technologies have put the main focus on bettering relationships between people separated from a physical distance. However, the inference drawn today is that the offline, real-life connection has thus been neglected and strongly negatively impacted.

And although loneliness can be embraced, it cannot be the sole ruler of our lives. For eventually, through any way, life is meant to be shared.

what does social life mean to you?

Blinding Lights. The Weekend.

ON GOODBYE

“Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow.”

— Shakespeare

Good bye is serene. It is embracing the end. I means looking back with gratitude. It is the expression of good wishing when parting ways, or having already parted ways. Saying goodbye means being wholeheartedly ready to face the plausible absence and the fear. More than a peaceful farewell, goodbye is the gift that one can make a close-one. It also can be the gift that one offers to themselves.

Goodbye is not similar to the violent movement of a door being shut in your face. And perhaps; up to a certain extent, to the most desperate; uttering and feeling the word’s weight plainly embodies the wondrous hope of a reunion. Goodbye is not the French adieu.

It took me a while, almost a year, to be precise, to finally say goodbye. It took me a while to realize that saying goodbye was not a bleak action but a positive one. It is not the tearing of parts, as forever still binds two beings in one part of their lives.

It can at times be the bravest thing you can do to honor your self, your self-worth — the harshest accomplishment and yet also one of your greatest.

Goodbye is letting go. Goodbye is freedom. Goodbye is love.

We tried hard to utter the word
eventually, we did say goodbye
in the midst of our storm
we let it all out
perhaps not face to face
but still, heart to heart
soul to soul
life to life
in each our very own ways
we faced the darkness
and embraced the remains of light
in truth
and regard
we offered each other
respect and reward
whichever way we would part and thus
we embarked on this
forthright path
once named
bona fides.

Izal. Hambre.

what does goodbye mean to you?