ON INTUITION

Intuition, commonly known as the ‘gut-feeling’ is oftentimes portrayed as a superpower, a tough virtue to nurture, a sixth sense or a divination. But what is it exactly? How often does one encounter it? Is is really an inner source that calls for cultivation? Or is it barely an esoteric and frivolous idea? 

***

“The ancient Icelandic word for intuition is “innsæi,” but in Iceland it has multiple meanings. It can mean “the sea within” which is the borderless nature of our inner world, a constantly moving world of vision, feelings and imagination beyond words. It can mean “to see within” which means to know yourself, and to know yourself well enough to be able to put yourself in other people’s shoes. And it can mean “to see from the inside out” which is to have a strong inner compass to navigate your way in our ever-changing world.”

I do not recall undergoing any epiphany as a child which years later would lead me to move to a different city. All I know is that for some reason, still unknown to me to this day, a specific city would remain stuck in my head, on my mind, in my heart for a long period of my life. Perhaps this is why it seems as though in the blink of an eye I took the decision to leave everything behind and move there, after realizing I had to take responsibility for my own dreams and wishes. But why there?

As I look back, trying to piece together the memories, nothing in particular calls up to my mind. There was no movie or documentary about that place that seemed to have struck me. There was no story I had heard that could have impacted my younger self. There is no reason I can exactly pinpoint why I chose London. All in all, London did choose me, as it transformed me too. And yet, all this time, the British capital embodied a dream of mine. Thus, I pulled up stakes. I followed my dream. I followed my heart. It is only after things truly starting shifting in my life that I became aware of the real explanation behind this life-changing occurrence: intuition. 

***

“Intuition is the whisper of the soul.”

Jiddu Krishnamurti
BCN, Nov. 2019, GC

***

Many people consider intuition as a mysterious and scary word, an otherworldly term. In a culture in which risk is predominantly seen as harmful, daring to follow your intuition seems to be rarely encouraged and supported. Indeed, it takes a great deal of courage and bravery to do so. For, intuition is, in fact, very much rooted in the spiritual dimensions of one’s world. It is a mystical sense, an enigmatic and cryptic gift. To decipher the meaning of one’s unconscious calling is more often than not a laborious task to achieve if it is ever attained. 

Intuition is diving deep into the unknown. Intuition is a hidden awareness. Intuition is a powerful force that can drive you to channel your inner self. It is a singular tool that requires time and careful practice to be eventually mastered. But it is also a gift that needs to be cherished and cultivated. It is a decision to be made: to follow one’s heart, at one’s own peril —yet most-likely at one’s own benefit. 

Intuition is one’s inner voice. It is one’s best teacher. It is the most meaningful sense you connect yourself with. It is uncanny gleam in the dark. It looks like an outlandish path on the map. It is a concealed trait in one’s soul. Thus, tuning may require efforts, yet the results display best its value. 

The key element in mastering one’s intuition is belief, almost extraordinary belief. In fact, it demands faith. It necessitates believing in the imperceptible, the unknown, the illogical. What a grand faculty, indeed, to be able to literally believe beyond belief. Believing fully into something, without needing any material proofs. 

For intuition is merely trusting your inner self genuinely, leaving space for that little voice inside your soul to erupt from your being, and utterly trusting the universe. 

Dream. Jain.

did you ever follow your intuition?

ON PURPOSE

“Purpose is spirit seeking expression.”

Kevin Cashman

Do you remember your very first childhood dream? The first wish you had, the first thought that crossed your mind when adults were asking you what you wanted to be as a grown-up? Who did you want to be? Did you want to be an astronaut and later on realized that you were far from wanting any of what that entailed? Perhaps you were so doubtful, endowed with such a peculiarly wide imagination that a legion of thoughts navigated your mind.

Or did you always know? Did you know it so well that this idea never, for one single instant, left your mind?

We are, nowadays, trapped in a society in which we are constantly pressured to live by firmly defined beliefs and standards. To remain faithful to our innermost ambition is not only a challenge but also requires a potent strength of character. One can find a way to live accordingly, or one can struggle while attempting to find a way out of the societal spiral in order to reach their yearning.

***

It is quite an uncanny feeling to experience, I have to acknowledge. Being aware without knowing an actual way to live according to our true purpose. There is a chance to be able to thrive while experiencing only half of what we truly are meant to achieve. And then, this odd feeling of not belonging does not add up.


All of a sudden, it did not seem to make any more sense: to be stuck in that training room, unbearably reminding me of the school’s classrooms, being harped on a topic I was so very lightly hooked on. It was upsetting, almost harrowing. For, at that very moment, I realized that this was not what I was meant to be doing. I was meant to be sitting at this desk, in the same manner, only with a different intention, aim, purpose. I was meant to be writing. I am meant to be writing, to use my words in a unique, mighty way.

Thus, the following days were not as smooth as the beginning, when all I had hoped for was a fresh start and new opportunities. The epiphany that I had to undergo an experience that could not define my self, my being, my soul, at all was the explanation.


***

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.”

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

This is a double-edged sword: to be aware of your calling whilst almost feeling like a failure given that you are not fully able to live it, at the present moment. We recognize that we could be utterly thriving if only we had followed all the right steps, scored all the points and finally attained our goal. But we are still working on it, walking our path tediously, with fluctuating motivation.

And yet, there is still some magic to it. We ought to consider ourselves the lucky ones, for countless other souls seem to be lost trying to find their true self, their true purpose and the meaning of their existence. We are fortunate enough to know where the road is going to lead us, whether we are currently looking for the right path or already found it. What a joy to have discovered the burning fire that is fueling our soul. What a delight to let ourselves be driven by passion. It is a chance to know our purpose and it is our duty as well to never cease to honor it, for, to latch onto it is our most compelling force.

Whether we have already grasped our purpose or not, we ought to remember that we all possess one. It may be hidden under layers of self-doubt or in the hands of a loved one. Hereafter we shall be prompted to seek it, regardless of how. And in the wise words of my father: remember that each and every sacrifice will pay off in the end. Aim to live with a driving force that will make your heart pound blissfully.

what is your own calling, your purpose?

Soleil noir. 47ter.

ON CREATIVITY

“Creativity occurs in the moment, and in the moment we are timeless.”

Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

For a long time, writing had been my little secret. Not only did I not want to share my pieces, but I was not willing to barely speak about the fact that I wrote. It was my safe haven and I needed to keep it hidden. Over time, I opened up and discovered that sharing entailed growing, evolving. I have encountered some very interesting and fabulous personas who have taught me how dwelling about our passions is a way for mankind to lift each other up. 

To unveil the mask we have had to put up with for a long time is never an easy task. It means being ready to be under the spotlight, ready to be vulnerable and disclose the most authentic parts of ourselves. One has to be prepared for the potential judgements that may get generated as a result of this exposure. Thus, one has to fully accept who (s)he is in order to face all that artistry entails. For creativity is much more than mere individuality. It is a common power possessed by each and every one of us.

It is by attending an open mic for the first time ever recently that I grasped how much vulnerability can teach us. Vulnerability, in fact, is a teacher of acceptance. It was quite an eye-opening experience for me to realize that whether one could relate or not, enjoy or dislike a piece of art, it was not nonetheless demeaning its essence, this act of inventiveness and expressiveness. 

“Mystery is at the heart of creativity. That, and surprise…As creative channels, we need to trust the darkness.”

Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way
BCN, Feb. 2020, GC

***

Creativity is not merely art in it’s widely known definition. It includes talking, walking, researching, everything that we do, and everything in between. 

Creativity is an inquisitive and open mind at work. 

Creativity is engaging with others. 

Creativity is questioning our human nature.

Creativity is defying our belief system. It is going against, and with pride, societal standards.

Creativity is taking risks.

Creativity is being daring to go into the unknown. 

Creativity is being willing to revisit the past, acknowledge what has been created and recycle an idea in our most unique way.

Creativity is uncovering the deepest, shadiest parts of ourselves.

Creativity is unveiling our personal truth.

Creativity is the path to self-awareness.

Creativity is the honesty which makes us break free.

Creativity is deconstructing and rebuild on the ruins.

Creativity is understanding.

Creativity is being equipped to provide advice. 

Creativity is welcoming our mentor’s pieces of advice.

Creativity is exciting our senses, challenging ourselves.

Creativity is giving meaning to something, at times unawarely.

Creativity is spirituality.

Creativity is a fire burning inside your soul.

Creativity is giving.

Creativity is sharing. 

(book recommendation: an absolute inspiration.)

***

Sharing is indeed the core of human nature. We aim at making great memories with our loved ones, telling one another our personal stories, sharing the journey all together, hand in hand. This is thus the reason why we are all creative beings, whether we know it or not, whether we hide it or proudly proclaim it.

How creative are you? 

Lolita. Ash Kid.

ON FEAR

“Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.”’

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you ever been paralyzed? Have you ever bailed right before doing something you had longed for and yet, at the very moment you were going to take action, felt so overwhelmed that you could not move forward anymore? I did, umpteen times, when I was younger, encounter that dismaying feeling. It was as though, submerged, my being was suddenly stuck, as if it were drowning in a sea of fears. 

Letting the fear take control over me was the easy way out, as I believed I had no willpower stronger than the fear I was facing, whatever that may have been. This was up until the end of my first year at university. For summer 2016 did not only turn my life around but also transformed me. I referred to it as ‘The Day It All Came Crashing Down’ in a piece in which I shared this harrowing episode of my life, in an attempt to be as concise and raw as possible to convey my feelings. There was still some anger, strain, and shame at the time I wrote it, three months after the situation was seemingly sorted out. And it is only later on that I realized what that day had really meant for me.

The long hours of this 28th of July represented a paralysis. It was being powerless, facing such a shock, while witnessing these actions we could not defy in any sense. The immobility was striking. There was absolutely nothing we could do at that moment. 

I never wanted to feel so impuissant ever again. As I fully grasped the meaning of that day, I had my own very real epiphany about myself. It occurred to me again the countless times I had described myself as a ‘puppet to my own life’, for all I seemed to be doing was witnessing life happening to me, whilst I was staying in my comfort zone, avoiding as many opportunities as I saw appearing before my very eyes. Eventually, with that realization, I knew. I was finally becoming aware of all that it entailed. 

All in all, this meant I had to face my fears, each and every one of them. 

Portsmouth, May 2019, GC

Barely a few weeks went by. I packed my suitcases, wrote a note to myself that however daunting this experience might be I would survive, and I never looked back.

Perhaps I took the best step possible to move away from my fears. For, over time, even though I was lacking a great deal of self-confidence, I did overcome the most trivial of fears, and learned how to handle each kind of fear. From moving abroad on my own to conquering numerous other fears, I have learnt that fear can be a powerful source of joy. How exciting to do something that scares you. How empowering to achieve it. How encouraging to realize that the best things can happen to you out of fear.

***

Fear holds one hostage from the myriad of potential outcomes. 

Fear is the disguise that self-esteem issues take.

Fear is the voice of doubts and insecurity in your head.

But fear is also what leads one to a state of enlightenment. 

Fear is the path of progress. 

Fear is the symbol of the first step boldly taken.

Fear has the power to turn everything around.

Fear is the embodiment of your former self, as well as the creation of your future self.

What if you asked yourself: would I rather be stuck with my present self or be aware that there is a new me waiting on the other side of fear?

Too often we praise the so-called fearless ones. Yet, fear is human. Indeed, one does not have to be fearless, but merely use their fears cleverly.

Fear is my driving force. And it can be yours too. 

Pomme. Anxieté.

what is your greatest fear?